Is the death really the END?

The death has many forms where the physical one is not necessary the most threatening one. End is.

Change can be very scary to the most people. Moving life to a different country, getting divorce or lose of loved ones, where all of above creates a different level of stress. Painful little ends. Death of known.

Maybe because we hold to certainty and familiarity more than search for possibility of better life, we fear the end of known. And we really fear death of life. Many psychologists, priests or people working in healthcare agree that mortality is one of the biggest fears we have as humans.

To me there are three main fears: Isolation, mortality and meaninglessness.

Is it really death, end of self or is it everything surrounding it? Events leading to it? Maybe we fear painful accident or dragging illness that could lead to death? We consider as lucky those who left peacefully in sleep. For many, one of the biggest worries are people they leave behind. Loved ones we care about or are simply attached to them for various reasons.

But clearly for all of us, uncertainty of what really is on the other side is troublesome. Is there other side? Wouldn’t that be nice if we have a peak into the future? Would knowing of what’s coming make us to live more fearlessly? Maybe even welcome the change? Let events unfold naturally?

There is more people reporting close death experience, coming back completely changed.

Describing the absolute peace and love dissolving in oneness. Returning completely rebuilt, somehow sunnier. I am one of them.

I’m spiritual psychologist, born with as I understand it, seeing behind curtains and corners. Sometimes it is less than comfortable, sometimes very useful explaining yet unsaid questions. As a child I would say to my mother that I see her friend dying in two weeks. Which i would see as her spirit starting body leaving process, while she is not having a clue.

Would she like to know? Would I like to know? Would you like to know?

At the beginning no I wouldn’t want to know. If I think about it, yes I would. I would like to make my leaving conscious process. I would like to go to my favourite place with my favourite people. Do some necessary crying. But then I would release that I lived authentically and I never look back with regrets. Simply I know, I do my best. Period.

I have a client coming to me for a session, who called me one day saying that her dad had some surgeries and is now in a coma. She asked me to do healing or help him to the other side peacefully.I promised to look into it as soon as I can.

By looking into it I mean that I tune in as if I “ignore” space which allows me to reach his consciousness.

George was not in the mood to be approached, healed or entertained. He was physically exhausted his body was old and broken. All what he wanted was to die. However there was something holding him back.

This was different as talking to somebody emotionally and mentally exhausted who doesn’t want to live and thinks about death as if it is the only possible solution out of desper. Those people often feel as a failure, hopeless and exhausted of trying to change the world or themselves. Giving up and complete loose of hope is one of the most difficult feelings. When I was sixteen I experienced this brutal emptiness for a while.

Witnessing it makes me feel sad and powerless wishing there was magical stick I could use to create resilience.

Some people take step further and end their lives, others don’t. A few would say that they are too scared of pain of dying, even if they think about death all the time. Most of them worry about what would happen to their closest relatives when they are gone.

As if death is a saviour, yet costly one.

For many people with faith there is a believe that end of this live gives them a new blank page. Fresh start and better life. If one believes in afterlife or becaming one with the universe they may choose to take the risk because as they see it they have nothing valid to loose in this one. Nothing to live for.

What if there isn’t new blank page? What if there is a page with imprint of what we just experienced before death and we do take it all to the next incarnation?

Does it then change anything?

Let get back to George. I respected his unwillingness to communicate so I left with him some good vibes and I offered to help either direction he chooses to go. Following day when I checked on him, his response was:

” where have you been, I was waiting for you!”

He said that the pain of his family is making him uneasy as if you want to run out of the room where all their sadness and pain is, but you can’t, you are stuck on bed.

I asked him what he wants? Tried to remind him what he liked about life and how he loved being with his family. Favourite foods, listening to singing birds in the morning or simply laughing with the best friend on his silly jokes.

I didn’t push just asked if those things are worth living?

I left him with my questions. Let my client, his daughter, to know that it is very important to keep emotionally balanced as much as possible. I tried gently as one can, in this situation to explain that he needs to be given a freedom to go if he chooses so.

Following day Lara called saying that he woke up. A few hours later he died peacefully.

“He just wanted us to know that he decided to go and say for the last time I love you all.”

Daughter said that it couldn’t be more beautiful conscious way of passing.

My own close death experience showed me all I needed to know for loosing fear of dying, death or reincarnation. Strangely it was one of my deepest and most liberating experiences “in life”. Now it seems that people find me as they walk with fear of death. Another client just felt the urge to see me so she made a stop in Scotland on her way from Hangary to Portugal saying that she just came from the funeral of her brother who committed suicide. She and whole family were very angry with him. Where his spirit came into space saying that he is well and genuinely sorry for pain he caused to all, but they have to respect his choice and let him go. To my surprise she started laughing saying:” that’s exactly what he would say, idiot!”I helped him to go to light dimension and client left remembering him with love instead of anger.

I see how my ease about my own suffering leading to crossing the bridge brings people peace. As if they tune into my ‘knowing’ which enters and soothes their consciousness. Sometimes me discuss it, sometimes it is not appropriate.

Spirit of those loved ones who died comes into the space and via touch or words we just let go of grief and tension.

The life of George ended beautifully and he left at peace. He was a good man with loving family and lived his life fully with its ups and downs, as old generations tend to do. Then when his body refused to function well, he decided that regardless of all this wonderful moments which could still come, he had no regrets and was deeply grateful for his family letting him go hopefully to a new adventure..